I always imagined waking one day to find myself in the middle of my future. That everything I dreamed of would just fall into my lap and one day, I would be there. I mean, sure there was hard work before then, but then, the world would be at my fingertips.
I never imagined how hard it would really be.
I never imagined that one day I would wake up with my dream in my hands and feel like I'm holding death.
I never imagined that I could feel like I am right where I am supposed to be, but somehow it could still feel so wrong.
And what do you do? What do you do when the lights go out on the dance floor? Do you keep dancing, or call it a night?
I recently dug into Habakkuk in the Bible and was intrigued. Habakkuk was a prophet who looked around at everything around him and all he saw was darkness. He saw pain and destruction. He questions what God is doing, is He even doing anything? God answers and basically tells Habakkuk, "You know what, man? You wouldn't believe me if I told you. You couldn't even begin to comprehend these things." And Habakkuk questions.
But in the darkness, he chooses to trust. He chooses to continue, even when everything was gone. He chooses to worship in the dark.
Even though the fig trees have no blossoms,
and there are no grapes on the vines;
even though the olive crop fails,
and the fields lie empty and barren;
even though the flocks die in the fields,
and the cattle barns are empty, yet I will rejoice in the Lord!
I will be joyful in the God of my salvation! The Sovereign Lord is my strength
He makes me as surefooted as a deer, able to tread upon the heights.
Habakkuk 3: 17-19I don't know much about Habakkuk outside of this book in the Bible, but being that he was a prophet, I imagine he had dreams. He had visions and things that God had promised him. So when he looked around and what he saw didn't line up with what he had envisioned, he questioned. When life felt a lot like death, he cried out. "This doesn't look like full life, God. This isn't how it was supposed to be." I think Habakkuk had a moment where he got so caught up in the dreams God had given him, that he left God behind. He started seeing things only through his eyes, through the eyes of the broken world.
But then he remembers God's goodness. He chooses to worship in the dark. My favorite verse in that passage is this, "He makes me as surefooted as a deer, able to tread upon the heights." When everything is broken, Habakkuk isn't going to settle for sitting in the meadow. He acknowledges that God gives him the authority to tread upon the heights. To move mountains. He doesn't settle for complacency just because it gets hard. He stops to acknowledge God and His goodness. He takes the time to worship, to praise God even when He doesn't understand. And he continues on where God has called him. Because full life exists in His presence.
Sometimes, a season looks like abundance. Other times you have to walk through a season of emptiness, when everything looks dead. In those seasons, I don't choose to dance because I know a season of abundance is coming. Because to be honest, I don't know that. In those seasons of barrenness, it doesn't feel like anything will ever grow. It doesn't feel like the dawn is coming. I don't choose to dance because the lights may come on in the future, I choose to dance because God is good NOW. I choose to dance in the dark because He is my light. And it doesn't matter how dark it gets, because when you see grace and when you experience His love, you dance. You dance because its what you were created to do. You dance because His eyes shower you in a spotlight, to twirl for Him alone.
It's easy to feel disappointed when the dreams we held so tightly don't look like we always imagined. When we can't comprehend what God is doing. Or when those dreams come to fruition with thorns that we didn't expect. In those moments, it's so important to lock eyes with His goodness. To stop trying to make sense of things through our earthly view.
Perspective makes all the difference.
Because when we question, He is there. When everything seems to be falling apart, He's doing something we can't see. When we stumble, it's His hand that reaches out. When we lock eyes with eternity, the darkness of a moment becomes insignificant.
Keep dancing. Keep doing what you were created to do. Just do it with Him, because on our own, dreams start to taste like dust.
