It's Easier to Say Goodbye

Goodbyes suck.

Even temporary goodbyes are the worst.

Yet it's often easier to say goodbye.

It's easier to say goodbye to the relationship than to try and make it work. It's easier to walk away from a painful situation than to deal with it. It's easier to say goodbye to the dream than chance never seeing it come to fruition. We love quitting. We love walking away because we hate dealing with emotions and feelings.

It's easier to say goodbye to anyone who disagrees with us than to learn to live in the tension of our differences. To learn and grow from one another.

It's easier to say goodbye. Staying can be more painful than leaving. Staying, quite honestly, can suck. And I'm not saying that there's never a time to leave, because there certainly is. How do we know when God is calling us to stay? How do we stay when every fiber of our being is saying to run?

Learn to hear God's voice.

I grew up in the church. I was at church almost every day. I can't even tell you the number of times I was at awana, Bible studies, youth events, Christian concerts, you name it... I've prayed countless empty prayers, waited in the silence. But I never knew God's voice.

You don't listen for voices you don't know.

If a random person called me, I would have no idea who was talking. If one of my friends called me, I would know who it was immediately without an introduction.

Why do we think we should be able to hear God's voice but not spend any time getting to know Him?

Children know the sound of their father's voice. Because children have learned to hear. They've learned their father's voice in the quiet moments together. Through the bedtime stories, the dinner conversations, the quiet evenings at home. And because they learned to hear his voice in those moments, they can pick it out among the noise. They can distinguish their daddy's voice in a crowd.

Are you spending time in the quiet learning His voice? Spending time in His word, the bedtime story moments with Him. Sharing a meal with Him. Spending quiet evenings together?

Because here is the reality of it.

It will get loud. 

The world is loud. But even more so, our thoughts are loud. Our wants are loud. Our feelings are loud. You need to learn His voice to be able to hear it in those moments. When everything in you screams to run, you need to be able to hear when God says "stay."

One of the hardest things to learn is to distinguish His voice from our feelings. Just because we feel strongly about something, does not mean that it is from God. Don't make decisions from that place. Take the time to step away and get clarity. Take the time to get an answer you may not want to hear. To say, "Okay God, this doesn't feel good. This doesn't feel right. I want to run. I want to just say goodbye... But if you say to stay, I am willing to press into the pain. I'm willing to put forth the effort." If you're spending time with Him outside of those moments, you'll learn to know His voice.

I've run from things my whole life. I don't like emotions, I don't like feeling. The past couple years I've gotten to this place of realizing that I can't live my life running. I don't want to live in this apathetic world. So I have stayed. And I've pressed in. I've learned to focus in on the one voice that matters.

In the moments when my mind refuses to stay, when my body tenses up and starts shutting down, now I can hear His voice. I can hear Him say, "Stay, Erika. This is where you need to be. This is okay. It's okay. Please, stay." So when He says stay, I stay.

I've stayed when it has felt like my world is falling apart.

I've stayed when it felt wrong.

I've stayed when I've been absolutely shattered.

I've stayed because He has proven time and again that He is faithful. He is a good father. He is not asking me to stay to lead to my death.

Because through the brokenness, the pain, and the despair, I've come to find life on the other side.

Staying doesn't always mean everything is okay, but it does mean God has called you to that time and place for a reason. There is a purpose for the relationship. Staying means you trust God knows what He is doing and you entrust yourself to His greater vision.

Pain should never be a decision maker. Let His voice be the voice you listen to.

I can promise you, listening to the Father's voice may not be easier, but it is always better. He sees past the pain, He sees beyond the broken to a beautiful redemption we can't even begin to imagine.

Let Him lead you there.