The Courage to Reach Out

The Girl Who Was Broken.

That is what I imagine the heading in the Bible would be if my story was included.

I like to think it would be something more courageous, something that showed how brave I was or how hard I fought to change my story. But I can never truly separate myself from the past that sometimes creeps into the present.

In some ways, I feel like the woman with the issue of blood from the Bible. Here was one of the bravest women in the Bible, yet we still call her by the title that separated her from society. The issue of blood. She is never named in the scriptures, but I am going to call her Audrey. Audrey had been dealing with this sickness for twelve years. For more than a decade, Audrey was considered ceremonially unclean. This meant if she so much as brushed up against someone, they too would be considered unclean.

For twelve years, Audrey did not know the gentle caress of a caring friend. She would not have experienced the healing hug of a loved one. Audrey was completely alone in the world, and not by choice. Twelve years.

On top of that, the touch of a person who was unclean was punishable by death (through stoning).

Audrey was so desperate that she was willing to risk a brutal death in a last-ditch attempt at healing. I’m sure the town knew who Audrey was. I can just imagine the whispers and side glances she received as she ventured into the city. People would see her coming and cross to the other side of the street to avoid any possible interaction.

But Audrey was desperate.

Have you ever been so desperate that you were willing to try anything?

People in town were talking about this Jesus character coming to the city. Men and women were venturing to the main drag and quickly filling the streets. The crowds were so large everywhere that even Jesus’ mother and brothers were unable to see him (Luke 8:19). There was no possible way for an unclean woman to get to Jesus without bumping against or brushing shoulders with other people. With no money, no family, and no friends, Audrey decided to risk everything.

Courage often comes when we have nothing left to lose.

I’ve found myself in that same position.

For me, it was ten years. Ten years of my own struggle. And while my own situation was a self-inflicted prison, I can relate to Audrey’s desperation.

For ten years, I fought to escape this prison to no avail.

Somehow, I knew if I could just reach out… If I could just touch Jesus’ robe, everything would change.

If I could just touch his robe.

Audrey pushed through the crowd, a feat in and of itself, and as Jesus came into view she defied everything she had known for twelve years and stretched out her hand. An arm’s length away, but close enough to touch. As Audrey’s fingers brushed against the tassels on Jesus’ robe, healing washed over her.

Audrey had the courage to reach out.

Reaching out can change everything.

The story doesn’t end there though.

This wasn’t just a passing moment where Audrey was able to slink away undetected.

Jesus actively sought her out. He asked who touched Him and while the disciples insisted it was impossible to know…

Jesus kept looking. (Mark 5:32)

And when Audrey found the courage to make herself known, an entire crowd watching, Jesus does something incredible.

“Daughter… your faith has made you well.”

Do you understand the significance of that one word?

In front of all these judgmental people (prob like a live-action version of twitter), Jesus is intentional to make it clear who this woman is. Not the woman with the issue of blood, not someone who should be stoned to death. Daughter. Faithful Daughter. Courageous Daughter. He gave her meaning and a family in one breath. In front of everyone. I like to imagine Jesus extended his hand to her and placed it on her arm as He said it, solidifying to everyone that Audrey was not contaminated. She was not condemned. She was worthy of touch. She was worthy of love.

The Woman Who Reached Out

The Woman Who Found Her Freedom

The Girl Who Never Gave Up

The Courageous Daughter

I wish we chose our titles differently, but we can never truly separate ourselves from the people we once were. Without the woman with the issue of blood, we never would’ve been introduced to the woman who reached out.

And sometimes it’s so easy to cling to that past title because it’s safe. It’s what you know.

The broken girl. It’s easy to slip into that, it’s easy to ignore the healing and freedom I’ve reached out for. It’s certainly easier than pushing through a crowd and reaching out.

But you don’t lose who you are because of what you once were. Audrey didn’t have to push through the crowd again. She didn’t suddenly lose her healing.

I wish I knew more about her life after that. After 12 years of living in a virtual prison, I wonder if freedom was overwhelming. I wonder if there were days when she found herself holed up in her home because she got so used to being alone. Or did she dance in the streets and make up for lost time?

I don’t know.

Some days I find freedom overwhelming. I know it’s there, whether or not I choose to embrace it. I know all it requires is for me to reach out. But what if I reach out and my hands don’t connect with His robe? What if I reach out and it falls of deaf ears? What if… what if…

What if He again calls me by my new identity?

The Girl Who Found Her Freedom.

Daughter.

Courageous Daughter.

What if I could just reach out?